Potions, Pratfalls and Perils
by Belladonna Sinistra
Summary: Yet another accident in Potions class - but this time Harry's on the receiving end. Will Ron and Hermione be able to save him before it's too late?
1. Default Chapter

Harry Potter was not having a good day. _How do I get myself into these messes?_ he lamented as the water washed over his head.

*  *  *

"Today's potion is a Transmogrification Potion. It has the power to shrink things, but, unlike the Shrinking Solution, it simply reduces their size, rather than causing them to revert to a less developed state."

"Like Trevor." muttered Ron.

"Weasley! No talking! Five points from Gryffindor!"

Ron opened his mouth to protest, but Hermione kicked him under the table, shaking her head. They began to unpack their potions ingredients as Snape wrote them on the board.

"This is much more complicated than the Shrinking Solution." remarked Hermione distractedly.

"Be careful not to add too many unicorn hairs-" But Snape's warning came too late. Neville Longbottom had just added a handful of unicorn hairs to his cauldron, which, unfortunately was positioned right next to Harry's. With a deafening bang, Neville's potion exploded, drenching Harry in Micromogrification Potion.

Harry was in agony. Every fibre of his body felt as though it were being crushed, his bones being compacted, his nerves squashed smaller and smaller. Then suddenly the feeling stopped. He opened his eyes and looked around – then had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Everything looked enormous! And everything was much louder, too – he hadn't been able to hear over the roaring in his ears, but now that it had stopped, he could hear Professor Snape bellowing at Neville.

"You stupid, moronic imbecile! How could you be so idiotic, Longbottom?!"

"But…where's Harry? Harry!"

Harry shouted "Ron! I'm down here!" But Ron didn't seem to hear him.

"He's been shrunk, Weasley! Even if he hasn't been trodden on, you wouldn't be able to hear him!"

"I've been shrunk!? But how – Neville! When this wears off, you're dead!"

"Professor, isn't there an antidote?!"

"Of course there's an antidote, Miss Granger! You don't think I'd let Longbottom loose with this potion if there wasn't one, do you?! But still, it's not much use if Potter's been crushed underfoot!"

"Come on, sir, it's not so bad! It's not like his parents are going to complain."

"You'll pay for that, Malfoy!"

"Careful, Weasley, you don't want to tread on Potter."

"All of you, stop it! We have to find Potter. Look carefully and watch where you're putting your feet. Not you, Longbottom. You sit down and stay there."

Harry shrank back against the leg of his desk as the rest of the class began to look for him.

"Now what am I going to do? Even if they find me, what's the betting Snape'll give me poison instead of an antidote?!" Suddenly, an idea occurred to him. If he could get hold of Hermione or Ron's shoe as they went past, he might be able to get their attention. Hermione was closer, so he decided to try her. As she tiptoed past him, looking intently at the floor, he grabbed onto the buckle of her shoe. His hand slipped and he nearly fell, but he managed to catch hold of the leather strap and hang on for dear life. When Hermione paused to look around, he hoisted himself up onto her foot and braced his feet against the strap.

_Now what? _he thought. Then Hermione began to move again, and Harry nearly tumbled off, but caught hold of her grey sock just in time. Hermione looked down to see what was pulling at her sock.

"Harry!" He made frantic shushing motions to her.

"Oh, sorry," she whispered. "Is that better?"

"Yeah, that's much better." Harry had to yell at the top of his voice to make himself heard, and even then Hermione had to strain to hear him. "Listen, don't give me to Snape!"

"Why not?! Harry, he'd got the antidote!"

"I don't trust him. After all we've put him through, I wouldn't put it past him to poison me."

"But…what are we going to do, then? You can't stay like this forever!"

"I know that! Look, just put me somewhere safe, and then make the antidote yourself."

"I can't, Harry! That antidote takes two weeks to make!"

Harry was beginning to get hoarse. "Well, steal it, then! I just don't trust Snape!"

Hermione looked at him helplessly. "Oh…all right, then!" At that moment, the bell rang and Hermione hurried out of the room, stuffing Harry into her pocket.

"Hermione! Wait for me!" She paused as Ron came hurrying up. "What about Harry?!"

"I've got him, Ron, he's in my pocket." She pulled Harry out, sitting him in the palm of her hand.

Harry felt distinctly ruffled. Hermione hadn't been very gentle when she'd put him into her pocket, and apparently she had forgotten that she had a used tissue in there.

"Hermione! Why didn't you tell Snape!?"

"Because Harry told me not to. He says he doesn't trust Snape not to poison him. He told me to put him somewhere safe, then steal the antidote and give it to him later."

"So where are we going to put him?"

"How about Moaning Myrtle's place. No-one'll find him there."

They had been walking while they talked, and they had reached Moaning Myrtle's toilet. Hermione pushed the door open, and Ron followed her. She set Harry down on the windowsill.

"Stay here, Harry, we'll be back as soon as possible."

*  *  *

Two hours later, Harry was bored. 

_I'm not just bored, _he thought, _I'm completely and utterly bored out of my brain._

He couldn't see out of the window, being too small, and he didn't want to move for fear of falling off the sloping sill. As well as being bored, he was also tired, hungry and cold. His muscles felt stiff from sitting on the cold stone, and the room was rather damp from being flooded every time Moaning Myrtle had a tantrum. 

"Come on, Hermione! Just steal the antidote already!"

He was sitting cross-legged, tapping his fingers on his knees, when he heard a high, keening wail from up the corridor outside, steadily growing louder and louder. Suddenly, Moaning Myrtle rushed shrieking through the wall and dove headfirst into the nearest toilet. Water burst up from the toilet, then the others followed suit. The sinks all turned on at once, spewing out water which joined the steadily rising tide. Harry watched, panic-stricken, as the water rose higher and higher.

"Myrtle! Stop!" he screamed, but Myrtle couldn't hear him over the combination of rushing water and her own gurgling wails. The tide had reached the windowsill, washing over Harry's feet. He tried to back away, to get to higher ground, but he slipped on the wet stone and fell into the water.

"Help!" he screamed as the water rose ever higher.

*  *  *

"Come on, Hermione! Snape could be back any minute!"

"I'm trying! There's a spell on this door that I've never seen before!"

Ron sighed. "Here, let me try," he said, pulling a set of lock-picking tools out of the pocket of his robes. "I bet Fred and George never saw this coming when they gave me these." 

He fiddled with the lock, and it clicked open. "Come on, let's go!"

They quickly slipped through the door, leaving it slightly ajar in order to let some light into the darkened office. Hermione went over to the shelf which she knew contained antidotes.

"Come on, Macromogrifier, where are you?!"

"What's wrong?"

"I can't find the potion, Ron!"

*  *  *

Harry, meanwhile, was busy cursing everyone under the sun: Neville, for exploding his potion and getting him into this mess; Snape, for being so untrustworthy; Hermione and Ron for leaving him here with that lunatic Myrtle; Myrtle herself for flooding the bathroom; not to mention the Dursleys' lack of forethought in not sending him for swimming lessons.

_I bet they did it on purpose, hoping I'd drown in the bath! Well, it looks like they're going to get their wish. Damn you, Myrtle! Why'd you have to flood the place now?!_

The water was still rising, now swiftly approaching the ceiling.

_Hurry up, Hermione! If I don't drown first, I'll be crushed against the ceiling if you don't hurry up with that antidote!_

*  *  *

"It has to be here somewhere, Hermione! I'm pretty sure Snape doesn't just carry it around with him for fun!"

"Yeah, but he might be carrying it around looking for Harry!"

"What are we going to do if he is?!"

"Then we'll just have to - no, wait! I've got it!" She held the crystal vial aloft triumphantly.

"Great! Now let's go and get Harry!"

They ran out of Snape's office, pulling the door shut behind them. Still moving at top speed, they made their way to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom on the second floor. It was Ron who first noticed the water on the floor.

"Oh no…don't tell me…!"

"What?!"

"Myrtle's flooded the bathroom!"

They looked at one another, horror-struck. "Harry!"

*  *  *

Harry took a last gulp of air before the water washed over his head. The water had risen so high that it had reached the ceiling, cutting off Harry's oxygen supply. _Why is it always me?_, he thought. He was acutely aware of his aching lungs, red spots flashing before his eyes. Suddenly, water started rushing away in a great torrent. Harry swam frantically for the surface, fighting against the current that was dragging him towards the now open door. His head broke the surface, and he took a desperate gasp of air. But the current was still dragging him inexorably down. He decided not to fight, and instead swam with the current. He'd rather take his chances with whoever opened the door than with drowning, he decided.

*  *  *

"Ron, quick! We have to do something! Harry'll drown if we don't!"

Ron did the only thing he could think of under the circumstances. He opened the door. Water rushed out of the bathroom in a great flood, drenching him and Hermione in a tide of filthy water. Then suddenly, he felt something small and floppy touch his hand. He looked down, and saw Harry floating face down in the water, his body limp like a rag doll.

"Hermione!" he shouted, snatching Harry out of the water and laying his friend in his palm.

"Oh, no! Harry! Wake up!" Hermione cried, shaking Harry roughly with the tip of her finger. He stirred, then began to cough, vomiting up quite a bit of yellow-green liquid.

"Harry! Are you okay!?"

Harry didn't answer at first, concentrating on expelling the water from his lungs. "Yeah, Ron. I'm okay. Um…I don't suppose you've got the antidote handy, have you?"

"Oh, of course!" Hermione quickly pulled the vial out of her pocket. "I don't think you have to drink this one. If I just pour it on you, it should work." She tipped the vial up, drenching Harry in it's contents.

*  *  *

For a moment, Harry thought it hadn't worked – nothing was happening. He looked up at Hermione, who shrugged helplessly. Then it happened. Every part of his body felt as though it were being stretched like a rubber band, then, with a pop, he was back to his normal size.

"Um…Harry? Could you get off me?"

"Oh! Sorry, Ron." Harry extended a hand to help his friend up. Ron got to his feet, looking rather disgruntled.

"Ow."

"Oh, Harry! I'm so glad you're okay!" Hermione squealed, throwing her arms around his neck.

"It's good to be back to normal. Thanks, guys."

"I'm sure it's wonderful, Potter, but what I am interested to know is how you got back to your normal size, given that I am the only one who possesses the antidote to that particular potion."

They whipped around to see Professor Snape standing behind them, a twisted smile on his face.

"Follow me."

*  *  *

Moments later, Harry, Ron and Hermione were standing in front of Professor Dumbledore's desk.

"Headmaster, given that these children could not possibly have brewed a Macromogrification Potion in the space of a few short hours, and I am the only one who does possess that particular potion in my private stores, is it not reasonable to presume that the potion used to restore Potter to his original state was taken from my stores? Without my permission, I might add." 

It didn't take a genius to work out that Snape was enjoying himself, Harry thought. The cruel smile on his face was a rather large clue, after all. He just hoped that they wouldn't be punished too severely.

"Indeed it is reasonable, Severus. I don't doubt that the situation is exactly as you have surmised." Harry's heart sank.

"However…I really cannot blame Ron and Hermione for wanting to help their friend. From what I have heard, Harry could easily have drowned."

A vein was flickering horribly on Snape's temple. "Perhaps if Potter had come straight to me when he was first shrunk, he would not have been placed in a situation where drowning was a possibility."

"Perhaps. However, Severus, this has been an ordeal for all three of them, and, I hope a learning experience. There will be no punishment." Said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling kindly.

Harry felt his heart lift. Snape, however, looked livid.

"Headmaster, may I remind you that these children have stolen from me?! And I am well aware that this is not the first time!" Snape hissed.

"There was never any evidence implicating any of these three, Severus. There will be no punishment." Dumbledore replied calmly. Snape stared angrily at the three of them before turning on his heel and stalking from the room.

"Now then, you three. Might I suggest you pay a visit to the kitchens, where you will a large quantity of food waiting for you." Dumbledore smiled as Harry's stomach gave an enormous rumble.

"Thank you, sir!"

*  *  *

Later that night, Harry lay in bed, thinking over the day's events. While he definitely didn't want to be shrunk again, he had to admit that it had been an adventure. The bit with Snape in Dumbledore's office had been an added bonus – Snape could never prove that it had been Ron and Hermione who had stolen the potion, and they had gotten off scot-free. Not to mention that the food provided by Dobby and the other house-elves had been exquisite. _All in all_, he thought sleepily, _it could have been worse._

*  *  *

Meanwhile, Severus Snape sat in his office, planning his lessons for the coming week. _I'll get you yet, Potter…_he thought, as he filled in the space for the fifth-years with 'Hansen's Potion' [1]

~Fin~

[1] Hansen's Potion – Remember, the technical term for leprosy is Hansen's Disease… ^_^"


	2. Potions, Pratfalls and Perils: The Delet...

A/N- This chapter and the next chapter will consist of "deleted scenes" (stuff I decided to take out of the original story.) You know, like what you get on DVDs. =)

**--Deleted Scene 1: Harry & the Spider--**

After spending some time alternately resting and climbing, Harry sat on the window-ledge in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. He didn't know exactly why he's just spent the best part of fifteen minutes doing all that climbing, but it did give him something to do while he waited for Ron and Hermione to come and rescue him, and besides, now he could look out of the window. Being on the second floor, Harry thought that Myrtle mustn't have a half-bad view from her toilet. He turned to look – and found himself face to face with an enormous spider. Of course, the spider wasn't really that big, it just looked that way from Harry's new viewpoint.  

Ron had a point, really, thought Harry. Spiders were particularly disgusting creatures. The specimen in front of him, for example. Its eight eyes glistened wetly, as did its venom-dripping fangs. Its hideously jointed legs clicked revoltingly as it advanced on him, clicking its fangs together in obvious anticipation.

_Ohh…shiiiittttt…_thought Harry. _Now what do I do?!_

The spider lunged at him, having obviously mistaken him for an insect. Harry turned around and ran as fast as he could, but unfortunately he wasn't quite fast enough. The spider's front legs grasped him around the middle, lifting him off his feet, the sticky hairs poking through his clothes and rubbing horribly against his skin. Harry pulled his wand out of his pocket and aimed it at the spider.

"_Relashio!"_ he shouted. The spider reared back as the sparks struck it, clicking its pincers angrily, but the sparks had no visible effect that Harry thought would benefit him. Then it came to him:

"_Incendio!"_ he screamed. The spider shrieked in pain, its body in flames. It dropped Harry and lurched backwards, losing its balance and tumbling off the edge of the window sill. It struck the floor and twitched a few times, still flaming, then lay still.

"That was really close!" Harry said to himself, shivering at the memory of the spider's hairs touching his skin. "Come on, Hermione! Who knows what's going to try to eat me next!"


	3. More Deleted Scenes!

**--Deleted Scene 2: Ron & Hermione to the Rescue!--**

Ron and Hermione were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, discussing their plan of action for Operation De-Shrinkify, the name Ron had given to their rescue mission.

"So, should we wait until after dinner or do it now?"

"We'd better wait. If people see Harry at dinner, they'll want to know how he got back to normal. If we do it later, we can just say Snape did it."

"Okay…but do you think we should take some food to Harry?"

"How's he going to eat it, Ron? Even a potato would be bigger than he is right now!"

"Oh, yeah. Oh well, I'm sure Dobby'll give him some food later."

"Well anyway, let's just get on with the plan. We'll pretend to be going to the library, and put the Invisibility Cloak in one of our bags. Then we'll break into Snape's store cupboard, get the antidote, and take it to Harry."

"Do you think he'll mind us taking his Cloak?"

"Well, probably not, since we're using it to rescue him. I'd be more worried about what Snape'll do to us if he catches us in his store cupboard. We've had a few close shaves before, remember."

"Yeah, and he'll take any reason to give us detention."

"We'll just have to be careful then, won't we?"

"I suppose so. Well, let's eat, then we'll go and rescue Harry."


End file.
